He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
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