so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
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