Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I just forgot I was standing up.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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