oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
