Are we in a gay sports bar?
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
