all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
