you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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