bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
