I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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