all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
