Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize