I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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