Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
