in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
