I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
