whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize