just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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