I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
