Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Randomize
