Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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