I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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