The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Is it because I queefed?
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
