I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
