We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
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