Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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