When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
