i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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