...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Randomize
