You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
She needs sedatives and a leash
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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