Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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