people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
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