so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
