His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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