there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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