If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
