Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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