I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
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