we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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