just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Drunk is a universal language darling
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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