erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
