My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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