swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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