i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
