y did u give ur computer a hand job?
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
accomplished twins. life is a go
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
