Whoa Z and x make the same sound
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
They are going to name an STD after you.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
