On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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