So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
