On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Randomize
