I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize