4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
