goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
