I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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