Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Randomize
