your room smells of hookers.
And success
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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