apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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