butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
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