i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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