So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Randomize
