I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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