Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I stole a fireplace last night.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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