Got a toothbrush?
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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