gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
