She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
