I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize