what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
