No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
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