There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
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