looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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