dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
