You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
