i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Randomize
