All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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