i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize