it wasn't lemon gatorade
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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