I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
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