Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
be right there i have to get my cape
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
