I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
